BYOGC (FMTP)

Remember back when we used to say “no duh” every time somebody said something obvious? For example, if somebody asked “does David Hoffmann like frisbees (and dicks)?” the answer would obviously be “no duh.” Then remember when it turned into “no doy?” Yeah, let’s bring that back.

So here’s a thing I was pondering on (ponder on? ponder about? ponderosa pine?): caffeine and alcohol are diuretics, they make your body expel water. So a lot of coffee or beer makes you pee, no doy. But coffee and beer are also made up of mostly water. So, you drink water at the same time as you expel water, and I wonder, what is the ratio of fluid taken in to fluid peed out? You know, the beer/piss coefficient? I would have figured this out in college but I was too wasted.

I will be conducting a scientific experiment this weekend to find out, if anyone would like to join. We’re probably going to win the Nobel prize so take this seriously. I’ll provide the beer, but you have to bring your own graduated cylinder (for measuring the pee). I suggest 500 milliliters or more. There’s going to be piss everywhere. Dave, if you can’t come, I’ll assume it’s because you’re busy playing with frisbees (and dicks).

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  1. thehoffstar
    October 27, 2010 at 11:55 am | #1

    I once measured my pee. It was almost enough to fill a 32 ounce jar. To be fair, measuring the pee wasn’t the true objective of the experience; i just really had to go, and my roommate was in the bathroom. And the door was locked. But here’s the thing. 500 Milliliters is equal to about 16.91 ounces or 3 L’s and 3 I’s. And neither is enough to contain the full volume of my bladder.

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