The Awkward Game

Awkward lines are something of a 520 specialty. In that spirit, Wojo and I invented a new game when we were out last weekend. We both gave each other awkward things to say when approaching a group of girls, then dared each other to do them. If one person does their line, the other person has to do theirs too. It went really well!

Hoffstar does the West Coast (featuring: Wojo and Conman)

Wednesday, 1/27:

9:47 PM. Conman picks Hoffstar up at LAX.  They put on the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell song, roll down the windows, and annoy the shit out of everyone still waiting to get picked up.

10:34 PM.  Hit the bars in Conman’s neighborhood, Hermosa Beach, get like 20 phone numbers and half a bj.

Thursday, 1/28:

11:51 AM.  C and H frolic on the beach with no shirts on.  H almost nails a seagull with a frisbee and C remembers that one time he hit a goose, back when 520 was still getting to know him and his crazy antics.

1:26 PM.  Leave Hermosa Beach for Las Vegas.  Hit the combination PH/TB on the way.  Record hilarious video of Hoffstar poking his head out of the sunroof like a prairie dog and eating a burrito while dancing to the song.  (YouTube, ETA 2 weeks.)

3:38 PM.  Hoffstar gets a boner.  We must have passed a Chuck E. Cheese.

5:20 PM. HIGH FIVE!

What Happens in Vegas (mostly), Stays in Vegas…

Warning:  The following entry may not be suitable for anything but creating children.

A transcription of our weekend in Vegas.

Night One:  Arrive at Circus Circus, family casino.  Conman and Hoffstar immediately have massive raging erections.  Conman from posters of hot Las Vegas strippers.  Hoffstar from children.  And Clowns.

Get decked to the max, with some sweet ass suits and ties, and go over to SPSP 2010 Social Psychology poster session #1 (It was a conference for people with really good vision).  Can’t get in without conference badges.  Except we’re baller, so we do anyway (through the side door, those convention halls have notoriously shitty security).  Wojo spends time examining posters and engaging in articulate discussions with presenters.  Conor spends time seeking out hottest female presenters and hitting on them.  Hoffstar spends time wondering why there weren’t more posters about vegetables.  And telling Wojo to ask social psychology questions in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

Come back to the hotel, invite all of Wojo’s classmates over to the room.  Chastise the non-drinkers.  Play Kings (Jersey rules) with everyone else.  Spill pretzels.  Walk to Blush nightclub at the Wynn Casino.

Blush line is ridiculous.  We don’t give a shit about any of that, so they let us in anyhow.  Clearly, we know how to party.  Drinks are expensive – $7 beers, $17 vodka red bulls.  Chicks are ok, but kinda stuck up.  Doesn’t stop 520 from getting all the women in the room ridiculously wet.  And hooking up with them under the stars on the outdoor patio.