Rhetorical questions – or are they?

What’s the deal with China?  Today my fortune cookie said “Take what you’re good at, and run with it.”  But what if I’m good with scissors?

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Also, in what religion or spiritual belief system are employees at cookie factories in China blessed with mystical powers?

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Did you ever notice that a “delay of game” penalty only delays the game even more?

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Today someone blew my mind with some fancy wordplay.  He said something like: “Why do we DRIVE onto our DRIVEWAYS, but we don’t GARAGE on our FREEWAYS?”  It doesn’t make as much sense now but I remember the answer was: “BUT WE DO GARAGE ON OUR FREEWAYS!!!”

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If your computer virus turns out to be cancer of the Excel, that sheet will spread.  In related news, the cure for cancer of consecutive integers is to ingest it, because before it benign it gotta be ate!

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I love theme parties.  How about an “Inception” party?  I can put girls into “dream states” with my “sedative” and will “kill them if they wake up too soon”, and finally I can “kick” them to wake them up when I’m done.

This is also the recipe for a “Conception” theme party.

The difference is the “Abortion” after-party.